Category Archives: Houston Divorce Coach

Ending relationships in arguments

facebook cover 4.27.15Ending relationships can be hard, especially when divorce will be involved. If you end the relationship in a fight, though, it can make it easier to do. You do not always have the courage to say what needs to be said during normal conversations or to just bring it up. Ending relationships in arguments and especially in big fights can help you to bring these topics up. Arguments can also help to provide an emotional release. The release will make it easier to go through with the process and move on to bigger and better things.

Ending relationships in arguments

Sometimes it is hard to get out what you want to say unless you are angry. Starting a fight can help you get out all the negative emotions and all of the things that you want to say but did not know how to before. Getting these thoughts and feelings out will help you to be able to move on after the fight and the relationship is over. It will also help you to feel more of an emotional release after getting the thoughts off of your chest. The adrenaline that can be brought out from fighting can also make you braver. If your partner did not treat you very well, this can be a good time to bring that up. Doing so can help provide somewhat of a “payback” feeling that will also help you move on from the relationship and realize that is was not good for you or your partner.

The fighting will bring out your negative thoughts and feelings, all of the things you have been keeping pent up and hidden from your partner. Getting these things out in the open will keep you from having unresolved feelings or regret in the future, which will help your emotional state. If you want to get a kind of payback to your partner, you can also use arguments to bring up things they have done that they did not apologize for or that they might not have known hurt you. Things from the past often come up in arguments, so things they did and knew they should not have can be brought up as well. It is important to note that only verbal fights can help to provide resolved feelings and physical fights should never occur, so if you or your partner has violent tendencies it is important to know when to back off a little to avoid any possible issues.

If you would like to end a relationship, no matter the reason, but you cannot find the right way to do it, starting an argument may be the way to go. You can bring up all of the problems you have had with the relationship and your partner and you will get the emotional release from getting all of the things off of your mind. It will be easier to tell your partner that you want the relationship to be over in the heat of an argument, too. Ending relationships this way will give both you and your partner resolved feelings so you can both go on your separate ways.

About the Author

Michael Busby Jr. is a divorce & family law attorney,  who practices in Harris and Fort Bend Counties, Texas. He has been in practice for over 14 years and has tried over 300 cases.  He is familiar with the policy and procedures of the Harris and Fort Bend County Texas family law courts.   Our office is open until 8:30 p.m. on Wednesdays and Saturday from 9 a.m. to 1 p.m. for working folks. Michael Busby Jr. 2909 Hillcroft Suite 350 Houston, Texas 77057 (713) 974-1151 Visit me on the web at www.busby-lee.com

Divorce Coach Houston Texas

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Divorce can be one of the most painful experiences you will ever face. My name is Tamber and I am a Divorce Coach in Houston, Texas.  It can be painful for you and for your family, especially your children. Denial, grief, depression, anger, rage, confusion and desperation…these are some of the things you may be feeling.

We know that the circumstances that brought you here are probably the some of the most difficult that you have experienced in your life. We understand the pain and confusion that you may feel from separation and divorce.

Transition is an Opportunity for Growth

It may be challenging for you to see this now, but your divorce may be the greatest opportunity of your life. You are now being called to a new way of seeing and a new way of operating in your life. Your divorce can present you with unique opportunities for personal growth.

One chapter of your life is coming to completion and now the rest of your story is up to you…

What will you create next? Will you repeat old patterns and stay stuck?

Or will you learn all the valuable lessons in this experience and reinvent yourself and create YOUR NEW THRIVING LIFE?

Your divorce can be a catalyst for the most powerful and necessary change you will ever make and can result in your new life that is filled with more joy, enthusiasm and awareness than you have ever experienced before.

IN ORDER TO CREATE YOUR NEW LIFE, YOU REQUIRE NEW SKILLS.

You are facing an obstacle with limited skills and tools in which to overcome it.

Learn the new skills you require to navigate successfully through the legal and emotional challenges of your divorce.

Be supported and guided through the emotional aspects of your separation and divorce, including the pain, anger and fear that may be buried or not fully acknowledged.

Remember your self confidence and empower yourself to move through the challenges of divorce in a calm, clear manner.

Identify and transform self sabotage & limiting beliefs that have been holding you back.

Communicate effectively with your spouse and your children to create peace and  co-empowered relationships.

Communicate effectively and calmly with your attorney.

Move out of scarcity and fear and into your new life of abundance and joy.

Your divorce coach in Houston, Texas will also teach you how to:

  • Make conscious and empowering choices
  • Communicate effectively
  • Identify and transform self sabotage
  • Identify and transform codependence into co-empowerment
  • Feel your self- confidence, your self -awareness and self -acceptance

 

It may be challenging for you to see this right now but all of this is working out for your highest good. Be guided and supported and transform this experience into your victory.

 

Call today and reclaim your personal power!

 

Tamber Zawadzki, RYT & Life Coach/281-806-1743 Visit Tamber at consciousdivorcecoaching.com

Michael Busby Jr.

2909 Hillcroft Suite 350

Houston, Texas 77057

(713) 974-1151

Visit me on the web at www.busby-lee.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Competency in Dealing With Stress and Change

Competency in dealing with Change and Stress

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Competency in dealing with Change and Stress  during times of change and dealing with stress can be trying during “normal” times. Throw in a bankruptcy or divorce and the stress levels rise add children, in-laws, who gets what? what will I do? how will I survive? what will my friends and parents think? Your internal dialogue can run rampant creating more stress.

What can you do to break this cycle? How do I become competent navigating through the maze of confusing dialogue and empower my life?

I will address competency with the analogy of learning to drive a car. When I first learned to drive my vision was focused on close proximity to the car, maybe 50 feet ahead. I was stressed out and making quick jerky course corrections. I was stuck in trying to do it right and not mess up. As I gained more competence and relaxed I looked farther down the road. My skills improved and driving was more pleasurable. After doing this for a period of time my driving become a subconscious activity where it was automatic. These tools can be applied to your life.

Just like learning to drive a car or when you do anything new, you move through phases of competency.
The phases may be worded in this manner.
Unconsciously incompetent: This is like when you are young and riding in the car, watching someone else drive and thinking it can’t be that hard. I can’t wait till I get my chance. This pertains to watching life occur as children. Maybe our parents were good at navigating life and emotions and maybe they weren’t. We were observing and learning from them. And we may have thought I can’t wait to grow up and do it better. In this phase you may be blaming other people for your misfortune and making the same life mistakes over and over again.

Consciously Incompetent

This is the wake up stage when you actually get behind the wheel of your car and find out there are things going on you had no idea of. In your life this is when things may get pretty bad and you realize for your life to really change you have to change. This is where you make your stand and say I am responsible for my life. This opens the door being okay with being a beginner to develop your own life skills in money and relationships that are yours.

Consciously Competent

This is when you are getting the hang of your life. You are looking further into the future of your life, you set goals and gain competency in attaining them. Life, finances and relationship are on the path to improvement and you notice your level of enthusiasm rising.

Unconsciously Competent: In driving this is the time where it gets easy. You don’t have to think about all the details as they become automatic. In life many of your course corrections are made automatically. You have your goals in sight and you are confidently moving towards them.

There are still upgrades from competent you can become an expert and even a master in your driving and also in your life. These upgrades are willed into existence by you. You can choose to drive your life in high performance mode (whatever that means for you). Each path you take in life becomes your learning experience and the more you take responsibility the easier your life becomes.
Visit me on the web at www.busby-lee.com
Michael Busby Jr. is a divorce and bankruptcy attorney who has practiced in Harris County, Texas Divorce and Bankruptcy Courts for the last 14 years.
2909 Hillcroft Suite 350
Houston, Texas 77057

Competency in dealing with Change & Stress is written by Tamber Zawaski

 

“Four Words to Transform Your Life”

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“Transform Your Life”

the first three words to transform your life all begin with “C”.  What “C” words am I speaking of and how will they transform your life.  Why they are Clarity, Courage and Commitment.  These three words when used and implemented correctly will create a huge shift in your world.  The fourth word we will talk about at the end is alignment.

Here is an exercise you can do to transform any situation and create freedom in your life.  You can do this with another person or by yourself with a pen, paper if you choose.

If you do this with another person when doing the exercise look them in the eye the whole time as you are speaking.  Have them assist you in making eye contact.  You can also do this exercise with pen and paper or looking into a mirror when you speak.

 

Example of How to Transform Your Life With Clarity

Let’s start with Clarity.  How I am using Clarity here is an identifier of your desires.  What is that you truly desire not just the little thing to have you survive in your existence for another week.  What do you truly desire to have in your life.  Think big here, dream big, play big.  What you may find what your truly say you desire, you may notice you are afraid to say, you may think this is too big and I can’t have really have it.  For right now just pretend you really.  Play in your imagination that you have your abundance or your harmonious relationship with your former partner, your children, boss etc.  Imagine you have a really great relationship with yourself, where you talk to yourself kindly and supportive.   Imagine you are speaking to yourself in the way what you desire to hear.  Imagine the tone and the words you desire to hear.

Notice if in doing this exercise if you feel any emotions.  What do you feel?  Say to yourself I feel ____ and write that down.  Now remember when did you feel that way before?  When was the first time?  Write your memory down as if it is happening right now in the present tense.  Write who is with you what is being said, what is the light in the room, is it warm or cold?  Go into as much detail as possible.  Feel what is there in your body.  Is the emotion anger, sadness, hate?  Whatever it is feel it and notice what happens to your body.  How long have you been holding that emotion there running in the background of your memories?  It may show up in unexpected outbursts here and there and then gets ignored until the next outburst.

This is where Courage takes place.  Have the Courage to stay and experience whatever is there.   As you notice your emotions notice their costs.  Maybe you feel tired, depressed a lower level of energy at this time.  Those blocked emotions are costing you your life vitality.  Once you recognize the cost to you, ask yourself who can I forgive in this situation?  Maybe it is your parents, former partner, children?   Maybe even the person to forgive is you.  Write down who you are to forgive and say it out loud stay and explore what emotions come up.  Maybe you say I forgive my dad and then get specific for what you forgive.  Say the same thing over and over until you feel on the inside that what you say and feel match.   This will happen with repetition.  Once you have made your shift of feeling your truly forgive the person see what is there.  In other words how do you feel about them/ you now.  Repeat this out loud until you feelings align with your words again.

Now for the fun part Commitment.  I hear people say I don’t like to commit.  I don’t want to commit.  My response to them is wow you are really committed to being non-committed.  So everyone is committing to something even if they think they aren’t.  Here you are going to Consciously Commit to something new for you!  Ask yourself after you have done the previous exercise imagine what is new and different for you.  Imagine having forgiven your dad and what is different two years from now for both you and him.  Commit to really doing this!  Commitment is the cement that holds your new choice in place.  Once you are clear in your new choice, ask yourself what three things did I do first that I didn’t want to do to give myself this gift.  Now commit to doing those things as quickly as you can.  Write them down put a date and time for their completion and commit to them.  The faster you make those changes the faster your shift occurs.  When those are done ask yourself what are my next three things to do.  While you are doing them stay in your feeling of how you imagine your feelings when you have shifted.

Now what is Alignment and how do I know when I am aligned with my new choice?  The easiest way for me to recognize whether I am emotionally aligned with what I am saying is it to speak out loud to someone.  For example if you have an issue with paying your bills on time.  Make a statement using present tense out loud “I pay my bills on time”.   Repeat this and notice whether your voice quivers or what emotions you are feeling.  Maybe you notice a voice in your head saying that’s not true.  Whatever is going on talk right through the sabotages and keep repeating your new statement until you align.  Once you feel relief from your statement say how you now feel with your new choice in place.  Your “job” is to stay in that feeling and act on opportunities as they present themselves.  With these simple tools you can make a dramatic difference in your life.
Michael Busby has worked with Mr. Scherer in the past.

You may visit Mike at www.busby-lee.com

Busby P.C. 2909 Hillcroft Suite 350

Houston, Texas 77057

(713) 974-1151

 

Visit me at www.newearthcenter.com

~Mark Scherer, CEO